A Bit Of The Other

Thousands of married couples have had the sex of their partners validated after John Howard and Phillip Ruddock claimed the proposed same sex unions in ACT could “be confused” with hetrosexual marriages. Mrs. Edith Montgomery, of Canberra, said she was relieved to discover that Monty, her husband of 15 years, was a man.

Treasurer Peter Costello said that any confusion will be removed with the introduction of a new ID-card, that could protect a person’s privacy whilst prominently displaying their sexual orientation in bold letters across the identity photo.

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In face of increasing evidence from the Cole Enquiry suggesting that he knew about AWB kickbacks to Iraq, the Foreign Affairs Minister now denies all knowledge of being Alexander Downer.

He admits that it appears that Alexander Downer could be in trouble, but he says if he is Alexander Downer he doesn’t recall being told as much. Rallying to his defence, the Prime Minister has added it is now up to the Cole Enquiry to prove that Alexander Downer really exists.

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Aussie Uranium could be on supermarket shelves in China by the end of the year, but strict conditions will prevent sales to anyone under 18 or with an Iranian passport.

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Tony Abbott has declared his intention to be The Queen one day. Writing in a Sydney newspaper yet to be owner by Rupert Murdoch, he complained about press attacks on the monarch and said he might be up for the gig if he can prove that Prince Charles is his lost love-child.

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Morris Iemma has denied that he is concerned about voter backlash if the new Lane Cove Tunnel opens before a state election next year. He’s said that voters would be gridlocked and won’t be able to make it to the polling booths anyway.

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Her Majesty The Queen has been looking at property in Sydney this week, causing speculation that she plans to move to Australia when Britain becomes a republic, which is likely before Australia becomes one.

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The NSW state government has done a good job this week of protecting public servants from John Howard’s IR reforms. And Qantas is looking at protecting employees from Australian WorkChoices legislation by employing people in China.

Aware of the significantly lower overheads in Asia, Sydney Airport is also considering employing people from China. Admittedly this would mean moving the airport, but the Southern Cross Airports Corporation has not ruled that possibility out. They admit that relocating Sydney Airport to Beijing would increase travel times into Sydney CBD, but lower operating costs would create a healthier profit.

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