A Bit Of The Other

David Hicks will be amongst the first seven Guantanamo Bay inmates to be sent to the International Space Station on board the Space Shuttle Discovery at the weekend.

The US Supreme Court has ruled that military commissions at Guantanamo Bay contravene the Geneva Convention, but the Geneva Convention’s jurisdiction is confined to planet earth.

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High cancer rates have been found amongst South Australians who were subject to the British testing of sunbeds in the 1950s.

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Traffic congestion is now so bad that announcements in the Sydney harbour tunnel outrank Alan Jones in the latest radio ratings.

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John Howard has said the Socceroos loss against Italy was unfortunate, but Australians will not be coming home until the job is done. The US is also out of the World Cup, but George Bush has promised to send more soccer players to Germany to win the next round.

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The spoken bits from the Sunday morning editions of “A Bit of The Other” for May and June. You might have missed them. Perhaps you slept in for two months. Or you were in a coma. Or you were listening to a radio station with an audience bigger than five. Whatever your excuse, enjoy them now.

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Aborigines will not be allowed to stay up after 7.30, eat fast food or talk at the dinner table under Tony Abbott’s proposed “paternalist” approach to indigenous communities.

The health minister believes self-management has failed, with few aboriginal children going to church, reading the bible, or growing up as Liberal voters.

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Superman has moved to Brokeback Mountain and adopted a gay lifestyle in the latest movie in the superhero series. Hollywood has denied that Superman is gay but Clark Kent’s promotion from mild mannered reporter to editor of The Daily Planet’s Interior Decorators Supplement is seen as a sign.

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Faheem Khalid Lodhi’s plans to cause devastation in a major Australian city changed all the time. He had planned to hit Sydney hard in a way that would inconvenience millions, but the completion of the Cross City Tunnel beat him to it. Plans to destroy the lives of people all over the country were superseded by the IR reforms. Many more had their freedom take away by having children so they could claim the Baby Bonus. All in all, he was finding it hard to be a terrorist in Australia.

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President Bush has announced thousands of US troops, some of the finest still alive, will locate to Cardiff, where they will help protect Wales from the Japanese fishing trawlers.

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Larry Emder stopped smiling for the first time since he was born this week, on learning that Channel 7 were finishing the Wheel of Fortune. The actual wheel has been bought by Channel 9 who will be spinning it each hour to decide which staff member goes next.

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