A Bit Of The Other

E10 petrol, which contains 10% ethanol, is being replaced by T10petrol, which contains 10% petrol and 90% Timor Sea, following the West Atlas Drill Rig leak a month ago.
Users of iSnack 2.0 are complaining that it’s not compatible with iToast 1.4 and you have to download and install a patch before opening the jar.
Developer Ron Medich [...]

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Noisy shareholders protested about Geoff Dixon’s salary at the Qantas AGM by rattling their tray tables and refusing to keep their seat belts fastened, before they were asked to leave by the exits located there ←, there ↑, there →, or there ↓.
Alan Joyce, who replaced Geoff Dixon as Qantas CEO, is on a considerably lower salary, [...]

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Tania Zaetta has settled a lawsuit against the Daily Telegraph who implied she had sex with troops in Afghanistan. She says she was in Kabul all the time and no-one took her up the Khyber.
Afghan and foreign troops have agreed to observe International Peace Day today (Sept 21st). If successful they’ve next agreed to observe [...]

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The government is to downgrade its carbon trading scheme. You’ll now be able to buy and sell carbon at a government stall at the St Ives markets on the second Tuesday of every month.
Telstra is to be split in two. Telstra shareholders have been told to follow suit by tearing their Telstra share certificates in [...]

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The Space Shuttle Discovery has landed in California. A NASA spokesman said “that’s a bugger. It was supposed to go to the international space station”.
There are reports that runner Caster Semenya is an hermaphrodite. The IAAF said that’s not a problem as they accept runners of all nationalities.
John Della Bosca has asked if he can [...]

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The Australian dollar is at a one year high. It will spend the rest of the week in a rehab facility.
Steve Fielding spoke of his physical stimulus package yesterday. Members of parliament have said that explains the buzzing noise in his trousers.
Five dolphins, two dugongs and dozens of turtles have been found dead in Queensland’s [...]

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The mysterious McGurk tape could bring down the NSW government. Politicians said they’d pay more for a tape that could save the NSW government.
Uncorroborated sources claim Premier Rees had been planning the murder of Michael McGurk, with the plan to be phased in by late 2047.
Broadcaster Mike Carlton will now spend his mornings at home [...]

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“I nearly died” said a government minister after enduring three nights in sub zero temperatures. The minister was John della Bosco talking about his return to the marital bed with Belinda Neal.
Following the John Della Boscar affair Standard & poor haved revised the NSW government rating from AAA to an R rating.
John Della Bosca is [...]

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Victorian tourism minister Tim Holding has been found alive and well after several nights in freezing conditions on Mt Feathertop. John Della Bosca is fairing less well after his first night in freezing conditions with his wife Belinda Neal.
John Della Bosca has been caught having an affair with a 26 year old woman. He has [...]

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