A Bit Of The Other

Steve Jobs has launched the iPad. Women who have tried it have said it’s not as comfortable as the pads they currently use.
The iPad will transform how we read newspapers. Extensive testing has shown that the iPad can survive being wrapped in cellophane and chucked onto your driveway by a newsagent travelling at 30km/hr.
Inflation has [...]

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Jenny Craig has been accused of inaccurate weight loss figures, because they included decomposing dead people in the sample.
The NSW government is to push ahead with the CBD metro. They’re going to send it through the bankrupt Lane Cove Tunnel.
Obama has modified his health reform bill so it promises affordable healthcare for all Americans, except [...]

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The US has made allegations of Chinese government sponsored cyber attacks on US targets. In response Barack Obama has refused to accept Hu Jintao as a friend on Facebook.
A Google search bot has been arrested by Chinese authorities for stealing state secrets. It’s sharing a cell with Stern Hu.
BA cabin crews are to decide again [...]

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Temperatures are expected to soar above 40C in many parts today – particularly in the crotch and the armpits.
The wife of Northern Ireland’s First Minister Peter Robinson has had an affair with a 19 year old boy. Robinson is to step aside from politics so he can rebuild his marriage by spending more time with [...]

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Police will re-enact the murder of Michael McGurk. They have said it’s unfortunate because it will require the shooting of another loan shark. The CEO of each of the Big Four banks is on the short list.
Indian authorities have issued a travel warning against Melbourne, sayings it flat, cold, wet and uninteresting. “Oh, and they [...]

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The tallest building opened in Dubai, with 160 storeys. It will be dwarfed by a new SBS building in Artarmon, which has six billion storeys and counting.
Security officers at LAX airport were surprised how they could see through people’s underwear with their new security scanners until they realized the passenger was Britney Spears and the [...]

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