Gatorade to Fix O’Farrell’s Lack of Energy Policy
- China has introduced its own search engine. It’s exactly like Google except there’s nowhere for you to type in what you’d like to look for.
- Apple is working with record companies to improve the osund quality on iTunes. The first step has been to remove anything by Justin Bieber.
- Barry O’Farrell has been criticised for his lack of energy policy. He said he’d fix that with a daily bottle of Gatorade.
- Protestors in the Middle East have said they can live without a change of government, but they won’t rest until there’s space for more characters on Twitter.
- Nurses will be given more money and hospitals in a new plan by Kristina Keneally. The bad news is the nurses will have to build the hospitals themselves.
- New laws in Britain are being introduced to remove squatters. It could see many people evicted from the House of Lords.
- Colonel Gaddafi is refusing to step down even though its been pointed out, at 68 he is eligible for a pension and a free bus pass.
- Gaddafi said young people protesting in the streets were on hallucinatory drugs. Charlie Sheen has booked a flight there for the weekend.
- The Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth cruise ships arrived in Sydney Harbour this week. Interestingly, if the two ships were a country then the country would be filled with very old, fat, rich people.
- A passenger waiting for a cruise ship at Sydney harbour earlier this week said “typical, you wait for ages then two come at once.”
- Alan Jones missed a radio show this week because of an illness. He’s fine but his audience is sick of him.
- Vodafone is to upgrade its mobile network, increasing speed to 42 megaits per second, up from the current speed of 42 megabits per week.
- The navy says reports of drunken sexual behaviour by sailors on shore leave is part of a new approach to intimidate enemies by landing on their shores and behaving like Australian backpackers.
- This weekend buses will replace trains between the city and north west Sydney. The delays will continue until the government builds a railway line out there.
Tags: Alan Jones·Apple·Barry O'Farrell·Gaddafi·Google·Justin Bieber·Kristina Keneally