Hanson Voters Discriminated Against in Poll. They Can’t Spell X.

March 9th, 2011 · 1 Comment · News

(19 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Pauline Hanson hopes to win a seat in the upper house in the NSW election. She will be issuing a how to vote card for her supporters, as well as a how to tie your shoelace card and a how to wipe your bottom after you’ve finished card.
She has said she’s not racist. For example some of her best friends are Welsh.
The NRL season kicks off on Friday with a friendly in room 607 at the St Kilda Motor Lodge. Just ask for Ricky.

Prince William is to visit Queensland next month. He’s decided to leave Kate at home in case Kevin Rudd takes him out on one of his wild bunga bunga nights.
Julia Gillard addressed both houses of parliament in Washington. She was told it would be easier to address both houses if she stood outside on the lawn.
After the Queensland floods the world is seeing another disaster – Charlie Sheen’s career.
The Space Shuttle Discovery is on its last mission into space. After that Rex Airlines will run it twice weekly to Bathurst.
Paul Hogan has launched a scathing attack on the Australian Tax Office. A tax office spokesperson said “you have been placed in a queue but your call is important to us”.
Woolworths say its milk war will hurt farmers but not as much as it will hurt the cows who are said to be very sore from the increased demand.
The government wants more women in senior roles. The move will force many sole traders to undergo realignment surgery.
Shanghai, China has introduced a policy of one dog per household. If they’re still hungry after that they’ll have to go and buy a cake or something.
Silvio Berlusconi has been seen at auditions for the next series of Two and a Half Men.
Parts of America now have an outright ban on smoking. Except for gun smoke.
Kath and Kim are to make a movie. It’s expected to be the biggest Australian blockbuster since Kangaroo Jack.
Charlie Sheen has two million Twitter followers. Only half of those are lawyers pursuing paternity cases.
Julia Gillard is now rating so low in opinion polls that she is behind Ben Elton as preferred Prime Minister.
Women are not getting pay equality, after it was revealed that neither Gail Kelly nor Gina Rinehart earn as much as Hosni Mubarak.
Julia Gillard threw an Aussie Rules ball at Barack Obama in the White House. The last woman to handle a ball in the Oval Office was Monica Lewinsky.
A 15 year old is suing the Victorian Education Department for leaving him illiterate and innumerate and thereby restricted him to jobs in the public sector.
A NASA scientist has found an alien fossil on a meteorite. It was later found to be Bert Newton, but no one is sure how we got there.
Construction has slumped in Australia for nine successive months. Workers claimed said they were on a smoko and they’d be back on site by mid afternoon.
A British SAS unit bungled a mission to get a team into eastern Libya. As a cost cutting measure they intended to get into the country by train, but plans failed when they discovered it wasn’t covered in their Eurorail pass.
The iPad2 was revealed by Steve Jobs this week. It’s much thinner. And so is the iPad.
Officials are so concerned about the welfare of Charlie Sheen’s two sons that they are now in-hiding with their mother in a safer place. They’re in Libya.
Nude cyclists rode through Melbourne on Sunday in support of bike safety. All wore cycle helmets, but several had to be surgically removed from their saddles. At the end the protestors lay down and turned themselves into bike racks.
The Labor party has rejected claims the Greens are running their agenda. Minister Anthony Albanese read from a prepared speech “we make our own decisions, or my name is not Bob Brown.”