Housekeeper says “Houston, we have a problem”

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The editor of The Sun said he is touched by all the condolence messages on Whitney’s mobile phone.
On discovering Whitney Houston’s body the housekeeper called Cissy saying “Houston, we have a problem.”
Whitney was found underwater in her bath, with a stingray.
Whitney Houston is to be the subject of a new Hollywood movie, The Bodybag.
Iran is building new uranium enrichment centruges but maintains that they will only be used to add the fizz to kids’ soft drinks.
The Gillard government is to cut back on health support for high earners. This could severely impact the Foxtel package available in some private hospitals.
Dental care is to be made available to low income earners. To ensure quality care for these patients, plyers will be sterilised after each use.
Julia Gillard has denied that she wrote her acceptance speech two weeks before she went to secondary school.
Gillard says she is concerned that leadership speculation is obscuring any focus on her latest hairstyle and dress sense.

The Reserve Bank chair Glenn Stevens is to seek counselling now nobody listens to him anymore.
1.8 million dead people remain listed as voters in the US. The news gives Newt Gingrich a bigger than expected chance at the presidency.
The Beach Boys reunited at The Grammys this week. They sang about surfing … the internet, looking for discount zimmer frames.
The legal bill for investigating Craig Thomson’s credit card use has reached almost $1 million – enough to give each member of the house a one hour erotic massage, once a fortnight, for a year. Thomson says that claim is ridiculous, you could negotiate for at least two hours.
Craig Thomson said it’ll be a relief when it’s over. He’s said that before, but this time he was talking about the investigation.
Sleep City has closed its doors for the final time. Shoppers inside said, at last we can finally get some rest.
Moodys has downgraded Greece’s rating, from a M to a PG, which means people will no longer be able to go nude on any of their beaches.
Greece just said Moodys was having a bad day, again. “They didn’t get that name for nothing,” said the Prime Minister.
This week’s celebrity sighting: Peter Slipper, speaker of the house, shopping at Woollies in Belconnen. Shoppers said they didn’t recognise his face, but he was wearing a wig and walking behind the ceremonial mace.