Housekeeper says “Houston, we have a problem”
- The editor of The Sun said he is touched by all the condolence messages on Whitney’s mobile phone.
- On discovering Whitney Houston’s body the housekeeper called Cissy saying “Houston, we have a problem.”
- Whitney was found underwater in her bath, with a stingray.
- Whitney Houston is to be the subject of a new Hollywood movie, The Bodybag.
- Iran is building new uranium enrichment centruges but maintains that they will only be used to add the fizz to kids’ soft drinks.
- The Gillard government is to cut back on health support for high earners. This could severely impact the Foxtel package available in some private hospitals.
- Dental care is to be made available to low income earners. To ensure quality care for these patients, plyers will be sterilised after each use.
- Julia Gillard has denied that she wrote her acceptance speech two weeks before she went to secondary school.
- Gillard says she is concerned that leadership speculation is obscuring any focus on her latest hairstyle and dress sense.
- The Reserve Bank chair Glenn Stevens is to seek counselling now nobody listens to him anymore.
- 1.8 million dead people remain listed as voters in the US. The news gives Newt Gingrich a bigger than expected chance at the presidency.
- The Beach Boys reunited at The Grammys this week. They sang about surfing … the internet, looking for discount zimmer frames.
- The legal bill for investigating Craig Thomson’s credit card use has reached almost $1 million – enough to give each member of the house a one hour erotic massage, once a fortnight, for a year. Thomson says that claim is ridiculous, you could negotiate for at least two hours.
- Craig Thomson said it’ll be a relief when it’s over. He’s said that before, but this time he was talking about the investigation.
- Sleep City has closed its doors for the final time. Shoppers inside said, at last we can finally get some rest.
- Moodys has downgraded Greece’s rating, from a M to a PG, which means people will no longer be able to go nude on any of their beaches.
- Greece just said Moodys was having a bad day, again. “They didn’t get that name for nothing,” said the Prime Minister.
- This week’s celebrity sighting: Peter Slipper, speaker of the house, shopping at Woollies in Belconnen. Shoppers said they didn’t recognise his face, but he was wearing a wig and walking behind the ceremonial mace.
Tags: Beach BOys·craig thomson·glenn stevens·Julia Gillard·Newt Gingrich·whitney houston