A Bit Of The Other

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Corby struggles with long sentence – and spelling.

April 5th, 2012 · No Comments · News

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  • It’s possible Schapelle Corby could have her 20 year jail term cut short. She might be able to leave in just two years – so long as she packs the bags herself this time.
  • It is clear that Corby has always struggled with the long sentence. She’s also had difficulty with the apostrophes, the spelling and the use of the past pluperfect.
  • The Justice Ministry said she could be granted clemency – and allow her to go free if she knows what clemency means.
  • Fair Work Australia has written a 1,100 page report, identifying 181 breaches of workplace laws by the Health Services Union. Actually the report is only 800 pages long, the last 300 pages are advertisements for brothels.
  • There still remains the big question as to whether Craig Thomson used a union credit card to pay for prostitutes, or whether he paid cash.
  • Prostitutes have denied sleeping with Craig Thomson, saying they have standards to maintain.
  • The Department of Public Prosecutions has said they will need to launch their own investigation to decide if anyone mentioned in the Fair Work report needs to be prosecuted. To save paper though, they’ve offered to write their report on the reverse side of the Fair Work document.
  • The productivity commission has suggested Australia and New Zealand adopt a single currency. Under the proposal Australians would adopt a superior attitude and start speaking German, whilst the Kiwis would have to eat a lot of souvlaki and pita bread.
  • Laws were passed this week preventing politicians from holding dual roles. Clover Moore assumed this meant she couldn’t be Sydney Lord Mayor and a NSW MP, but Barry O Farrel said, ‘no, you can’t be Lord Mayor, a wife and owner of two dogs”.
  • Massive flooding has hit Fiji. Prices at resorts have shot up because there are now twice as many overwater bungalows.
  • A woman found maggots in her Qantas lunch box this week. The airline said it was a ploy to distract people from the chance that the A380 engines might fall off.

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