Julian Assange is to star in a new reality TV show – The Only Way Is Ecuador.
Fairfax has announced massive cuts, but say they will retain one journalist who will be given a Twitter account for people to follow.
The same journalist will be allowed to write the News Ltd papers in the afternoon.
Gina Rinehart has agreed to buy him lunch if he agrees never to mention climate change.
Both publishers will keep the presses rolling for a while, as they’ll be used to issue redundancy notices.
Gina Rinehart is pushing for three seats at the Fairfax board table: two for her and one for her handbag.
Fairfax hopes to dilute her vote by giving away share certificates in this Saturday’s newspaper.
Microsoft has launched a new tablet computer. It’s just like an iPad, but with error messages.
Sydney is to host an international conservation forum. Barry O’Farrell has denied a request from the shooters party who wanted to cull the delegates in a humane manner.
Melbourne has been hit by an earthquake. Fortunately the city was already flattened.
MPs have delayed a vote on same-sex marriage, to give gay people a chance to determine whether they are gay or if it’s just a phase they’re going through.
Prince Phillip is back out of hospital after having problems with the Royal Wee.
The government admits they increased the Departure Tax too much when Captain Emad was found smuggling people out of the country.
A report has found lonely people die sooner: when euthanized they stopped breathing a full 8 seconds sooner than those still clinging desperately onto their partners.
LinkedIn has admitted profiles have been hacked. Millions of people have found their careers embellished.