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New Reality TV Show – the Only Way is Ecuador

June 20th, 2012 · No Comments · News

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  • Julian Assange is to star in a new reality TV show – The Only Way Is Ecuador.
  • Fairfax has announced massive cuts, but say they will retain one journalist who will be given a Twitter account for people to follow.
  • The same journalist will be allowed to write the News Ltd papers in the afternoon.
  • Gina Rinehart has agreed to buy him lunch if he agrees never to mention climate change.
  • Both publishers will keep the presses rolling for a while, as they’ll be used to issue redundancy notices.
  • Gina Rinehart is pushing for three seats at the Fairfax board table: two for her and one for her handbag.
  • Fairfax hopes to dilute her vote by giving away share certificates in this Saturday’s newspaper.
  • Microsoft has launched a new tablet computer. It’s just like an iPad, but with error messages.
  • Sydney is to host an international conservation forum. Barry O’Farrell has denied a request from the shooters party who wanted to cull the delegates in a humane manner.
  • Melbourne has been hit by an earthquake. Fortunately the city was already flattened.
  • MPs have delayed a vote on same-sex marriage, to give gay people a chance to determine whether they are gay or if it’s just a phase they’re going through.
  • Prince Phillip is back out of hospital after having problems with the Royal Wee.
  • The government admits they increased the Departure Tax too much when Captain Emad was found smuggling people out of the country.
  • A report has found lonely people die sooner: when euthanized they stopped breathing a full 8 seconds sooner than those still clinging desperately onto their partners.
  • LinkedIn has admitted profiles have been hacked. Millions of people have found their careers embellished.
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