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Space Dust Proves Aliens Crap at Housework

June 15th, 2010 · No Comments · News

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A Japanese space capsule is covered in dust from a distant asteroid. It proves that if aliens exist they’re not very big on housework.

Google is to scan 400,000 Australian library books. It could take some time though because they’re only able to get four books out at once.

A read through Samuel Pepys Diary from 1666, just before the Great Fire of London, reveals an early reference to a home insulation scheme.

England is reviewing its sponsorship deal with Lurpak, under which their goalie was smothered from head to toe in butter in their world cup opener against the USA.

Florida now has a black Governor. He just went for a swim in the Gulf of Mexico.

The Socceroos expect a better result in the second game of the World Cup after they being told they’re supposed to shoot the other way in the second half.

Malcolm Turnbull has said he doesn’t seek leadership of the Liberal party, but will serve in whatever capacity his colleagues ask him to. Several of them asked him for a cup of tea, and a further two told him to pick up their dry cleaning.

Under new Fair Work flexible work arrangements Kerry O’Brien will be able to present the 7.45 Report on nights when he has to drop the kids off at football practice.

Under new measures to extend fuel reserves, the Gulf of Mexico will have 10 per cent ethanol added to it this week.

Flooding rains mean Lake Eyre is now brimming with life. Why, just yesterday a solo 16 year old sailor was rescued from it.

Monica Lewinsky has denied having sex with the new Japanese Prime Minister, despite the telltale stain on her dress – it was sperm whale.

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