A Bit Of The Other

Roads Minister David Campbell was late for work yesterday. The garage door was closed and it took him six hours before he decided to open it.
Neil Armstrong has attacked Barack Obama for axing plans to go to the moon. Saying its not that expensive. “They could use the same film set where they shot my [...]

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The ABC has said it won’t cost any more to run a 24 hours news channel because they’ll be lifting their stories directly from Mark Scott’s Twitter feed.
Barack Obama has said he will delay visiting Australia. He said it would be inappropriate while the country is in mourning over the Clarke Bingle break up.
The ACCC [...]

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An overhaul of the law will remove “artistic purpose” as a defence for child pornography, but won’t stop Ken Done getting away with selling grotesque floral dresses to middle aged women in the name of art.
The Greek Prime Minister George Papendreou is to meet Barack Obama. He plans to dress down, camp on the steps [...]

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Australians whose stolen identities were used for travel by Mossad agents are to sue the Israeli government for the frequent flyer points.
The Reserve Bank pushed interest rates up again just because they like saying “basis points”.
Scientists studying nanotechnology have redefined the shortest measurable period of time as that measured between an RBA announcement and the [...]

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Tony Abbott has said his daughter’s virginity is a gift, which means it can only be given away at Christmas or on someone’s birthday.
Three bull sharks have been found in Sydney Harbour. There is a fear that they have come into the harbour with the intention of attacking Indian students.
Australian women will be able to [...]

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Steve Jobs has launched the iPad. Women who have tried it have said it’s not as comfortable as the pads they currently use.
The iPad will transform how we read newspapers. Extensive testing has shown that the iPad can survive being wrapped in cellophane and chucked onto your driveway by a newsagent travelling at 30km/hr.
Inflation has [...]

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Jenny Craig has been accused of inaccurate weight loss figures, because they included decomposing dead people in the sample.
The NSW government is to push ahead with the CBD metro. They’re going to send it through the bankrupt Lane Cove Tunnel.
Obama has modified his health reform bill so it promises affordable healthcare for all Americans, except [...]

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The tallest building opened in Dubai, with 160 storeys. It will be dwarfed by a new SBS building in Artarmon, which has six billion storeys and counting.
Security officers at LAX airport were surprised how they could see through people’s underwear with their new security scanners until they realized the passenger was Britney Spears and the [...]

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Failing to act on ETS could cost the Coalition the next election, as rising water levels wipe out all expensive coastal real estate.
Sarah Palin’s memoirs are topping the US bestseller list. Palin supporters apparently like the pictures that you can colour in and the join the dots section at the back.
Barack Obama will reduce US [...]

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Surgery continues on the conjoined twins at a Melbourne childrens hospital. A divorce lawyer is also present to ensure that it’s an amicable split.
The conjoined twins from Korea could be detained by immigration after their operation, because they’ll look nothing like their passport photo.
Surgeons say the operation to remove Joe Tripodi from the NSW cabinet [...]

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