A Bit Of The Other

The News, Not Reality

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Cloaking Device Tested on Governor General

August 2nd, 2006 · No Comments · News

Military experts are close to perfecting a cloaking device, that can make objects disappear from view. The military experiment has been tested on the Governor General, who has not been seen for some time. A military spokesman said the equipment works well. “We’re just trying to figure out how to switch it off”. Before that, they need to find out where he’s gone.

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Big Brother Contestant Knocked Unconscious By Frozen Turkey Slap

July 10th, 2006 · No Comments · News

A Big Brother contestant is in hospital after a turkey slap incident, with a frozen turkey. Its the latest incident on the controversial show that recently axed its “Uncut” version for reasons of accuracy, when it became obvious that most of the male housemates had actually been circumcised.

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Downer Says Hicks Is Unlikely To Suicide Unless His PR Agency Suggests It

June 13th, 2006 · No Comments · News

The suicide of three Guantanmo Bay prisoners has been declared a “good PR exercise” by Colleen Grafy, the US Deputy Asssistant Secretary of State. She points to earlier PR attempts by the prisoners, including a series of press releases, a cocktail function and advertising on shopper dockets.

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Beaconsfield Miners Diet A Best Seller

May 3rd, 2006 · No Comments · News

The latest new trend for weight loss is to sit in a dark hole for a week with a close friend, with only a museli bar between you. The Beaconsfield Diet is expected out in paperback soon and could be a smash hit in the bookshops. It is likely to surpass the CSIRO diet which recommended eating at least one cow a week, supplemented by a vat of chocolate.

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After Cylone Larry Mission, Cosgrove to Become Sunrise Weatherman

April 27th, 2006 · No Comments · News

After an excellent job coordinating relief events from Cyclone Larry, former Army Chief Peter Cosgrove is being considered as a replacement weatherman on channel 7’s Sunrise program. The move could see him on Dancing With Stars within a year.

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