A Bit Of The Other

The opposition wants two thirds of migrants to be skilled. If successful they will impose the same quota on the Liberal cabinet.
Malcolm Turnbull is to quit politics to spend more time with his money. He made his announcement via an email leaked by Godwin Gwech.
Biologists have discovered a giant lizard that is endowed with a [...]

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An overhaul of the law will remove “artistic purpose” as a defence for child pornography, but won’t stop Ken Done getting away with selling grotesque floral dresses to middle aged women in the name of art.
The Greek Prime Minister George Papendreou is to meet Barack Obama. He plans to dress down, camp on the steps [...]

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Argentina is once again laying claim to the Falklands. In negotiations Gordon Brown has reiterated that the Falklands is British, but was prepared to offer them Wales.
China’s President Hu has signed up to Twitter. Bhutan’s King Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck also tried it but ran out of characters after he typed in his name.
Karl [...]

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The tallest building opened in Dubai, with 160 storeys. It will be dwarfed by a new SBS building in Artarmon, which has six billion storeys and counting.
Security officers at LAX airport were surprised how they could see through people’s underwear with their new security scanners until they realized the passenger was Britney Spears and the [...]

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The Pope is to declare his predecessor “venerable”, a step towards sainthood. This gave hope to a number of priests in Ireland who were recently declared venereal by their doctors.
Sydney buses go on strike tomorrow. Which means twice as many buses will all come at once on Saturday.
Police dispersed climate activists in Copenhagen by threatening [...]

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Surgery continues on the conjoined twins at a Melbourne childrens hospital. A divorce lawyer is also present to ensure that it’s an amicable split.
The conjoined twins from Korea could be detained by immigration after their operation, because they’ll look nothing like their passport photo.
Surgeons say the operation to remove Joe Tripodi from the NSW cabinet [...]

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Gordon Brown is so motivated by the celebrations over the collapse of the Berlin Wall that he’s going to knock down Hadrian’s Wall.
Julia Gillard is to issue report cards on every school in the nation. The cards will be left, crumpled up at the bottom of your child’s schoolbag.
Head teachers at schools with poor ratings [...]

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A new sex education curriculum has caused outrage because teachers hate knowing less about a subject than their students do.
Excited by the news that Japan plans to start collecting solar power in space and sending it back to earth, Nathan Rees plans to collect water from Mars and transport it back to Sydney as a [...]

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A mum could be charged with assault after disciplining her nine year old daughter with a wooden spon. The women could face the maximum penalty of being sent to her room without any supper.
Men who smoke pot are more prone to premature ejaculation according to a survey. The survey responses took a while to analyse [...]

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In an attempt to soften the image of Rugby League’s attitude towards women the new CEO of Cronulla is touted to be the “love god” Richard Mercer.
The California couple not picked up from their diving spot by instructors claim they did not fake the disappearance, after they were eventually found 19kms from the spot, fighting [...]

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