A Bit Of The Other

Opposition leader Kim Beazley has said he is disappointed to see Billy Thorpe retire from swimming, but hopes he will continue his musical career.

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Kim Beazley has reversed his opinion on Uranium Mining, but has agreed to keep Labor party members in touch by restricting complete policy reversals to no more than one a day, hoping to offset claims he is making things up as he goes along.

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Two senior ministers have been found alive in the Beazley cabinet, despite a long period in cramped conditions, without access to any new ideas. The Ministers have been hidden beneath 120 tonnes of labour leader.

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After an excellent job coordinating relief events from Cyclone Larry, former Army Chief Peter Cosgrove is being considered as a replacement weatherman on channel 7’s Sunrise program. The move could see him on Dancing With Stars within a year.

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Australia is to have a new ID card that will help Kim Beazley remember the names of Labour senators. This is good news for the Labour leader who recently had difficulty remembering the names of Senators in South Australia, referring to Annette Hurley as Liz Hurley, Dana Wortley as Princess Diana and Linda Kirk as Captain Kirk.

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